The New Kid in Town

Upon finishing your character customization the game plays an introductory video, setting up the story for the New Kid and his parents, as well as their move to the quiet town of South Park. Once the video is over with you’re finally given control of your character and allowed to explore the room.

Over to your right you’ll see a chest clearly marked “Toys”. This chest will serve as your storage throughout the game. You can store any items, weapons, and armor that you might stumble across during the course of your adventure in this convenient spot at any point during the game, assuming you’re freely able to roam about town. If you’re going to the trophy/achievement “For The Hoarder“, then this chest will be a great way for you to store junk so you don’t clutter your inventory.


If you venture to the right, you’ll notice a closet on the back wall. You can open that to find a Terrance and Phillip backpack that contains  $0.50 and Baseball Cards (Junk, value $0.10). You’ll want to hold on to any money you find so you can trade with shopkeepers later in the game.


Exit your room and head to the left. You’ll find your parents room (currently locked) and a door at the end of the hallway that leads to the bathroom. Enter the bathroom and check under the sink. You’ll find an old sponge (junk, $0.10) and a rusty pipe (junk, $0.25). In a drawer directly to the left of that you’ll find a hidden $0.10. Before you exit the bathroom take some time to enjoy a good number two. Mash the prompted button while sitting on the toilet quickly enough and you’ll produce a Shit Nugget (Gross!). Hit the use button again to retrieve the poo from the toilet and add it to your inventory. These might be disgusting but they’ll serve as invaluable tools in combat if used effectively. These Shit Nuggets can be flung as unsuspecting enemies and used to produce a “Gross-Out!” effect on them causing them to throw up and take damage per turn. They’re very helpful early game, and when stacked with other instances of damage over time they can quickly cripple an enemy. It’s also important to note that this effect goes through armor.

Once you’ve finished in the bathroom, exit and go down the stairs on the right. Once you’ve reached the main floor of your house go to the left and enter the kitchen. You’ll find your mom scrubbing dishes, but you can also find some stashed cash and sellable junk laying under the sink and in some of the drawers. Make sure you don’t neglect to grab the $2.00 left on the counter top to the left of your mom.

Once you’ve finished in the kitchen your father will scold you as you enter the living room forcing you outside. Your first outing in the town of South Park can be a tad overwhelming. There’s no HUD to direct you. Because of this you’ll have to refer to your map a lot throughout the game. You can open it by  pressing up on the D-Pad or hitting “M” on your keyboard. This will bring up the overhead display of south park and point you in the direction of your next quest or current objective.


Head to  your right and you’ll eventually bump into Butters (The Merciful). Unfortunately, Butters is being accosted by an elf. After a brief dialogue, you can walk up to the elf and press your action button to hit him in the head, rescuing Butters and causing him to like you.


Butters will serve as a whole lists of firsts for you. He’s your first party member, he’s going to be the first person your friend of Facebook, and he’s also your neighbor. As a character Butters is well-rounded, capable of tanking a lot of damage while outputting quite a bit as well. His hammer does bonus holy damage and his character ability allows him to heal another party member for a significant amount of health. His other spells become more and more powerful as time goes on, and I found myself using him quite frequently throughout the game. Butters prompts you to visit the Wizard King and points over to the right. Follow Butters and he’ll lead you right to Cartman’s house.

Upon your arrival at Cartman’s you’re taken into his backyard after some brief dialogue. Make sure you interact with as much as you can here to gain some bearings on the area. You’ll also be able to friend Clyde (amory) after you briefly speak with him, you’ll also be able to do the same with Scott Malkinson (stables). Do this before you talk with Cartman because Clyde IS a missable friend!

Go up and speak with Cartman, he’ll ask you for your name. Once you enter it, he’ll just proceed to call you a douchebag. Accept this twice by agreeing its your name (select yes instead of no when prompted) and you’ll earn yourself the Achievement “Acceptance“. Once you’ve been dubbed ‘Douchebag’, you’ll be offered a class to choose. Honestly, there’s not much of a difference between any of the classes, so don’t stress your choice too much. That being said, if you’re playing as the Jew class you’ll unlock an achievement later in the game when you go on to find Jesus.

Once you’ve selected your class, Cartman will direct you to procure a weapon from Clyde over at the armory. Do so then return to Cartman once you’ve equipped the item.

Upon your return Cartman directs you towards your first fight, and unfortunately for Clyde it happens to be with him.


Pay attention to what’s stated in this combat tutorial, it’s important and will be necessary for success through the rest of the game. If you want an overview of what’s stated or you just need a refresher you can also refer to the tactics and strategy section of the guide for a full run down of combat and its nuances.


Once you’ve defeated Clyde Cartman asks you to join him inside his tent to see the relic. Before you do this, speak with Kenny to acquire the mission: “Flower for a Princess“.Venture in with him and watch the cut scene. Once it’s over be sure to ransack Cartman’s tent before venturing back out to defend the stick against the elf menace.

You’ll have to fight you’re way across three waves of elves, but in doing so you’ll learn more about the game’s mechanics. After you’re done with these three waves you’re ready to move onto the next quest. Refer to the video below if you’re having any difficultly, as it shows all three waves up until the quest’s end.

Next: Quest – Calling the Banners